Back to Basics: Love Others (John 4:3–29)

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ANNOUNCEMENTS — These are announcements specific to the Moscow Campus.

  • Cleanup Crew Needed for RL Single Moms’ Home
    Saturday, October 15, 9:00 am — 12:00 pm
    We need a crew of about 12 to clean the single moms’ home Real Life is establishing. We will be cleaning windows inside and out, window wells, bathrooms, kitchen, ceiling fans, etc.
    Email to volunteer.
  • STILL: 12 Hours of Prayer and Worship
    October 29, 6:00 am — 7:30 pm
    Sign up for one-hour slots of prayer throughout the day. The event will culminate in a time of music and celebration at 6:00 pm.
    Sign up at
    Contact Kelli Couch for more information.
  • 101: “Partnership”
    October 30 & November 6, 1:00—3:00 pm at Real Life, Moscow Campus
    This class is designed to present you with a detailed explanation of the structure of the church, what we believe, and the vision and mission of our church. Questions and open dialogue are encouraged. Taught by Aaron Couch, our Lead Coach, this class is two parts and offered on consecutive Sundays. Lunch and childcare are provided.

WELCOME — Don’t read through the list; this is something that you model.

  • Help new believers, visitors, and members feel valued and welcomed.
  • Start at the moment someone arrives and don’t end until everyone is gone.
  • Establish a foundation for relationships.

OPENING PRAYER — Don’t read through the list; this is something that you model.

  • Invite God’s Holy Spirit into our presence.
  • Prepare our hearts for what God has for us.
  • Shift our attention from individual fellowship to the group.

PURPOSE/VISION CASTING — Don’t read through the list; say them in your own words.

“The purpose of this group is…”

  • to mature in our relationship with God.
  • to have the people we need around us to disciple and encourage us.
  • to be here for others in the group; to encourage and disciple others.
  • to live life together; we are here for each other in the joyful and difficult moments of our lives.
  • to invite other people into a relational environment, which means our group will branch at some point; when that point comes, if you would like to lead or host a group, please let me know.

GROUND RULES — Cover all the ground rules.

  • Confidentiality: What’s said in the group stays in the group.
  • Listen: Let’s value one another during the discussions by really listening to what is being shared. Try to avoid thinking about how you are going to respond or what you are going to say next.
  • Pause: Allow a pause in conversation after someone shares to give the person sharing a chance to finish and give the group an opportunity to consider what was shared before responding.
  • Silence: It is important to allow silence in the group as it provides an opportunity for someone to share and for members in the group to process the topic or question being considered.
  • No Cross Talk: Be considerate of others as they are sharing. No side conversations.
  • No Fixing: We are not here to fix each other. Jesus does that. Give encouragement, speak truth, and point to Jesus. Don’t try to fix each other.
  • No Rescuing: When people are sharing something deeply personal, there can be a tendency to make them feel better about themselves or the situation by providing immediate condolences. This will often cause them to stop sharing. Resist the temptation to rescue people.
  • Sharing: Be sensitive about the amount of time you share.
  • Use “I” statements: It’s easy to talk about the issues of others, but for our purposes, we want you to put yourself on the table. Try to use “I” statements rather than “they,” “the church,” “us,” “we,” etc.
  • Household Rules: We appreciate those who open their home up to CARE Groups and out of respect to them we need to… (e.g., take shoes off, clean up toys afterward, put chairs back, leave by 8:00 pm, etc.)

OPENING CONNECTION — Use the following icebreaker.

  • “What are three words you would use to describe yourself?”

STORY PREPARATION — Introduce today’s story.

“Last Sunday Aaron concluded our two-week Back to Basics series. This series looked at what it means to love God and love others. Today we will look at the story of Jesus breaking down cultural barriers as He converses with the woman at the well.”

TELL THE STORY — Story the passage from memory.

  • John 4:3–29
    • Tell the story as accurately and convincingly (passionately) as you can from memory.
    • Relax and have fun—you do not have to do this perfectly.
    • Make eye contact with the group and use positive body language.
    • Avoid making personal comments during the story.

REBUILD THE STORY — Have someone read the passage.

  • John 4:3–29

SERMON IMPLICATIONS — Review these with the group.

  • Following God has always been about blessing others.
  • No amount of personal study will ever give you rest.
  • The only way to be living water is to go to the source.

DEBRIEF THE PASSAGE — Ask the questions.

  • Which of the implications from Sunday’s sermon meant the most to you? Why?
  • Are you better at going to the source of living water (personal Bible study) or being living water (loving people)? What would it look like for you to become more balanced in this?
  • In this story, was Jesus more concerned about being right, or living well? How can you tell?
  • The woman said to the townsmen, “Come, see a man who told me all the things that I have done; this is not the Christ, is it?” Yet Jesus only addressed her marital status. How have you defined yourself by your past? How has/is God changing that?
  • The woman came thirsty, but left full (she left her water pot behind) to share Jesus with her neighbors. What is one way you can be living water this week?

CLOSE IN PRAYER — Don’t read through the list; choose a way to close in prayer.

  • Take prayer requests.
  • Pray about the conversation that you just had.
  • Break up in smaller groups to pray as an option.